To change your mindset you change what you believe and your behaviors, create new habits, and a supportive way of talking to yourself. These things strengthen that new belief structure and positively impact how you see yourself, your identity.
Change your mindset – mindset is made up of a foundation of beliefs, which influence behavior, which influence identity. We humans stay true to our identity against all odds.
Steps 1 and 2 will help you identify who you are and who you want to become. It is in the becoming that our goals are achieved and success is realized. Who do you need to be in order to write that best seller? Who do you need to be in order to have CEO as your title? Who do you need to be in order to fit into that size 8?
Steps 3 through 7 will help you begin to change your belief structure and your behavior – precursors to changing your identity.
Steps 8, 9 and 10 will help you continue to move forward and keep your focus and take daily action towards your goal of replacing limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs, building a growth mindset and your ideal identity.
Become more self-aware.
One step in the right direction is to have that clear understanding of who you think you are. What is your identity? One way to start to uncover and clarify your identity is to listen, and make note of, what you say and what you think. Look for the key words ‘I am’. They will be strong indicators of your self-identity. I am smart. I am tired. I am happy. Similarly, negative expressions are also indicators of your self-identity. I am a bad speller. I am not a runner. I am not healthy. I am not energetic. I am the fat one.
Listen to what you are saying to yourself and others. Make a mental note and then jot it down in your notebook or journal as soon as you can. What you uncover about how you think about yourself may amaze you. Understanding is an important first step in moving from where you are to where you want to go. Read 3 steps to becoming self-aware for more techniques to try.
Dive into the identity you hold now and create a picture of your ideal identity. This can be as simple as ‘I am a smoker’ to ‘I am a non-smoker’. Or a more complete and complex picture of your overall identity.
Change your beliefs. Identify the limiting beliefs, those that hold you back and are creating your less than ideal identity. The 2-step negative belief post will be a tool you can use over and over again. You will let those negative or limiting beliefs go and replace them with empowering beliefs. Some of those new, empowering beliefs will support your new or improved growth mindset. These will look something like this:
It is possible
I am positive I can
There is a way, there is always a way
Failure is not bad, it is an opportunity to learn and improve
Change your language. How you talk to yourself and others. Your notes from Step 1 will be invaluable. Language really does make a difference. Use positive phrases, talk to and about yourself (and others) nicely.
‘Act as if’. This is more powerful than the 3 small words would seem to indicate. When you ‘act as if’ you are speaking, moving, and holding the beliefs of someone who has your ideal identity. To take this one step further, look for someone you admire – who has the traits you are looking to absorb and model them or ask them to mentor you. To model someone effectively, these are the 3 things you need to know.
Surround yourself with people who are thinking big, who have what you want to have – the relationship, the job, the business, the lifestyle. Who are what you want to be. You will naturally become more like them, begin to hold their beliefs. Begin to speak the way they speak and move the way they move. This is similar to mentoring or modeling – but when you surround yourself with these types of people, they become a more constant positive influence, and a subconscious way of accomplishing a similar goal as to what is described in step 5. If you aren’t clear on what you want, I can help you with that. Start with this blog and free download, then find me on my community if you need more help finding clarity. It is not unusual to know you want something, want more, but not know what that really is.
Do things outside of your comfort zone. Force your brain to process new input. When you do the exact same thing every day, think the exact same thing every day, say the same thing – your brain is not flexing its muscle that allows new thoughts, new beliefs, new behaviors.
Set daily intentions. Take a notecard and write down your daily intention. One of mine is ‘I find joy in each and every day’. Another is ‘I enjoy the people with whom I choose to spend my time’. Put the notecard someplace where you will see it every morning. On your mirror, by your coffee maker, on the fridge. Read it every day. Preferably out loud.
Journal daily. Try to journal daily. I know it’s a tall order, but it does make a difference. Write down how you are feeling – reflect on why. This will also help in becoming more self-aware. Make notes where limiting beliefs kept you from having/being/doing something. Journaling is the right place to keep track of all of your insights, what’s working and what’s not.
Stretch your critical thinking skills. Don’t just accept every thought that comes into your head as solid gold truth. You don’t know where that thought came from. Examine it, question it, look for an experience that negates it, ask others about their experiences, reflect, look for alternate truths. Look at it from someone else’s point of view. Practice being a good thinker.
Are you feeling a bit overwhelmed? Whenever you feel overwhelmed, chunk it up. Steps 1 through 10 can be intimidating if you are trying to digest it all at once. Start with step one. Do that for a week. Maybe 2. And then move on to the next step. One step at a time. In just a few short weeks time you will be miles ahead of where you would have been if you had simply let overwhelm overtake you and not even start. Oooh – maybe right now there is a limiting belief you can identify. Might there be a ‘I can’t do it’ belief lurking? I am here to counter that belief. You can do it. One step at a time. And you have my support. I am happy to help you and encourage you. When you get to the end of this blog, join my community and introduce yourself.
Are you feeling resistance? Like your body is telling you to back up a couple of steps? Are you trying to back away from your computer or mobile device right now? That’s resistance. It shows up a lot, especially if there have been many failed attempts in your past. But as Tony Robbins says – your past does not equal your future. I have a tool that you will find invaluable. It is called the Sedona Method and Hale Dwoskin wrote an entire book on it. Fascinating. If you want to know the science and history behind it and every possible application then I highly recommend this book. You can find the 6 steps of simple instructions here.
Are you feeling excited? like the possibilities are endless? I hope so – because they are and when you use these techniques and take control of your mind, instead of letting your mind control you – they are within your grasp. Your own super power, yours for the taking.
Your challenge for today is to choose at least one of the steps from the list spend some time thinking about it. When you feel ready, move on to another step. Bonus points for writing your thoughts in your journal.
Join my community, introduce yourself and let me know your experiences with this challenge. I would love to meet you.
Linda Short of Elle Short Coaching is a certified health and life coach. I help people struggling with where they are to create their own life story and take action toward their life vision. So that they can get unstuck, find joy in each and every day, and live their best life.